When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair of confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement1, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
中文：
当大家坦率地问自己哪种人在大家的日常对大家最具备意义时，大家常会发现不是那些给大家不少劝告、答案或对策的人，而是那些选择分担大家的痛苦，用温顺和亲切的手抚慰大家的创伤的人。朋友是那些在大家绝望和迷惘时与大家一块维持沉默，在大家悲伤和失去亲人时与大家一块共度时光，能宽恕大家的幼稚无知、苦无良策、心痛难复和与大家一块正视大家的虚弱无力的现实的人。那样的人才是真的关心大家的朋友。
亨利瑙文《走出孤独》
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